My Brain

My brain isn't allowing me to think of anything but architecture. I had a test today in my history class. I think I did ok on it but really it was just a blur. I can barely even remember being in any of the lectures. My life is being taken up by studio projects.

Tonight in the dorms is the special Mardi Gras meal. Fucking special meals cause much work on the part of us, the workers. Booo!!!!

I've been doing it now long enough to announce; I'm cutting meat out of my diet. I can't say for sure that I'll never eat meat again, that's why I'm not using the word "vegetarian" to describe myself. Well, that and the fact that I can't stand attaching myself to some sort of group. I feel like if I called myself a vegetarian that would somehow obligate me to be a certain way. I can barely even stand to identify myself as an architecture student, and I really am one of those. But anyway, I just can't stand the thought of killing animals anymore. I'm sure the final straw has been my ethics class but the seeds of guilt have been germinating for a while. I've always thought that if I had to kill animals myself, I wouldn't eat them. That's an obviously hypocritical point of view so I have two choices, either stop caring about animals or stop eating them. I can't not care. I mean, I have a cat. I know that animals can feel, I know that they have emotions. In that way I can't separate Rusty from a cow. If I didn't live in a country where I could get meat alternatives, obviously that would be different. But I'm well off enough to have choice in what I eat. So I choose not to eat animals anymore. Maybe sometimes I will still eat an animal, but I'll have to have a damn good reason.

Speaking of having a damn good reason, that is a phrase which has infected my speech this term. My studio teacher always says it. Basically, we can do whatever we want, break any rule, but we better have a damn good reason. It has risen to the point of a slogan in my studio and I'm sure it will always be in my brain. See what I mean about architecture taking over my brain? Oh well, I guess it is better than other things in there, like tv, or books, or movies, or interpersonal relationships, or what time it is, or the last time I showered.