A Great Sunday Morning

I just placed an order for my computer to be placed in my architecture studio. I must say, I enjoyed spending my large tax refund. I bought an ipod, a laptop, and now a desktop computer. I haven't spent that much money so quickly in a long time. And it will be a hell of a long time before I can do it again. Unfortunately, I have very little money left. I figure it is best to get the best I can afford now though, even if I don't have much money left, than to get a lower quality machine that I won't be as happy with for a long time. Does that make sense the way I typed it?

Anyway, I'm doing my Sunday morning slacking routine where I drink a pot of coffee while listening to This American Life, one of the best shows.

The weather has been unbelievably beautiful lately. I know that global warming is supposed to be a bad thing and all, but I'm really enjoying it right now. I figure that right now is about the sweet spot. Maybe in ten years I'll be enjoying the rising ocean levels a little less than I am this year's early spring, but hey, there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Oh crap! I just realized that I need to buy a whole bunch of software for my computer but I just spent the last of my money on the computer itself. Shit! But there is no way I can be too upset about it this morning. The weather is just too nice.

Soon, off to studio to work on my final project. I can't believe the term is so close to over. I sure hope I pass all my classes. Yikes.

Dude

Today I had my mid project review. I slept for less than two hours. But I got a lot of good feedback and I feel strongly that I'm progressing in the right direction. Yahoo! Only two more weekends until studio is done for the term. So excited.

And now, for sleep.

I Was Wrong

Sometimes Oregon is portrayed well in the media. Seems someone threw a shoe at Richard Perle who was debating Howard Dean in Portland. And while I can't endorse shoe throwing as a legitimate form of protest, it is pretty funny!

One of These Days...

...I'll get some sleep. Then everything won't seem quite so hopeless.

Why Is Oregon So Effed Up?

Valentine's Day Suicide Pact Foiled. It seems that whenever Oregon is in the news it is for some shitty reason. I can't think of a recent time when a news story involving Oregon didn't have to do with killing, sexual harrassment, or clubbing some figure skater's knee. Oh well, maybe it'll keep people out.

The Problem of Fatigue

I was so tired yesterday afternoon that I decided to take a nap. I slept from 3-7 pm. Then I woke up, ate some food, stayed up until 11, then I went back to bed. It is amazing to me that I was able to sleep that much. I seem to be sleep deprived.

Architecture is not just keeping me awake all the time but also causing me to lose weight. I don't know how much I've lost, but it is a noticeable drop. I hope it doesn't continue because I don't want to look like some skinny loser. I'd rather be a chubby loser. Another guy in my studio told me yesterday that he's lost 12 lbs since studio started six weeks ago. That's a pretty good weight loss program. Stay awake all the time working which will in turn lead you to eat less. Woohoo!

Yuck!

There's this guy in studio who I find really annoying and obnoxious. I, along with many others strongly dislike him and talk shit about him. I've been feeling kind of bad about it lately so I resolved to be nicer to him and not talk shit about him. Today in studio, I stepped in gum. It was gross. Turns out Mr. Annoying put it on the ground. He said that he forgot to pick it up. I told him it was disgusting. He didn't apologize. I no longer feel bad about talking shit about him.

By the way, he sucks. Don't tell anyone though.

One more thing. Last night at work I decided that I absolutely hate Alicia Keyes' (sp?) music. I can't stand it. Every song sounds exactly the same, that is to say crappy. I literally got a headache while her album was playing.

Gentle Reader, can you tell I'm working on a paper right now? Does the annoyance adequately come through in bits and pixels?

My paper is supposed to be about the regulation of hate speech. I have to say, I absolutely hate hate speech (wow, trippy) but I don't think it should be regulated. Arguing that position at a university isn't exactly the easiest thing. If I don't like it, shouldn't it be illegal? No. What about the harm it causes? That totally sucks. What am I, prejudiced? No, well, maybe a little. Looks like maybe I should elaborate a bit.

My Brain

My brain isn't allowing me to think of anything but architecture. I had a test today in my history class. I think I did ok on it but really it was just a blur. I can barely even remember being in any of the lectures. My life is being taken up by studio projects.

Tonight in the dorms is the special Mardi Gras meal. Fucking special meals cause much work on the part of us, the workers. Booo!!!!

I've been doing it now long enough to announce; I'm cutting meat out of my diet. I can't say for sure that I'll never eat meat again, that's why I'm not using the word "vegetarian" to describe myself. Well, that and the fact that I can't stand attaching myself to some sort of group. I feel like if I called myself a vegetarian that would somehow obligate me to be a certain way. I can barely even stand to identify myself as an architecture student, and I really am one of those. But anyway, I just can't stand the thought of killing animals anymore. I'm sure the final straw has been my ethics class but the seeds of guilt have been germinating for a while. I've always thought that if I had to kill animals myself, I wouldn't eat them. That's an obviously hypocritical point of view so I have two choices, either stop caring about animals or stop eating them. I can't not care. I mean, I have a cat. I know that animals can feel, I know that they have emotions. In that way I can't separate Rusty from a cow. If I didn't live in a country where I could get meat alternatives, obviously that would be different. But I'm well off enough to have choice in what I eat. So I choose not to eat animals anymore. Maybe sometimes I will still eat an animal, but I'll have to have a damn good reason.

Speaking of having a damn good reason, that is a phrase which has infected my speech this term. My studio teacher always says it. Basically, we can do whatever we want, break any rule, but we better have a damn good reason. It has risen to the point of a slogan in my studio and I'm sure it will always be in my brain. See what I mean about architecture taking over my brain? Oh well, I guess it is better than other things in there, like tv, or books, or movies, or interpersonal relationships, or what time it is, or the last time I showered.

My Weekend

My weekend was a slow one which was welcome. Yesterday I watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and Hero. I enjoyed them both but in different ways. I'm a bit apprehensive about my upcoming week. I'm still a bit lonely. I think I can never be satisfied. I should really just accept my life or work to make things better instead of bitching about things all the time. I swear, sometimes I think I would hate me if I knew me as someone else. Does that make sense? Blehhhhh.

Dude

I'm going to have a party at my apartment on Sunday night. Why Sunday? Shit if I know, but it promises to be an awkward time for all, especially me!

Fucking Subject Lines

Today started out difficultly. For some reason, I couldn't get myself out of bed until the last minute. I should have rushed straight out without any but the most perfunctory grooming, but instead I made and drank coffee, read an article, availed myself of the facilities, and took a lengthy shower. I was half an hour late to class. Two people called me to make sure I was ok...and I think I am. I'm really stressed out though...like so stressed I don't know why. It isn't really as if I've lost control of my fate or anything but I feel like it. And add to the fact that I feel bad with the other fact that about five people have told me I look bad, then I feel even worse. I guess maybe I'm just lonely for genuine friendship instead of the pseudo-friendships that I currently have. I know, I know, I'll make friends, but I haven't yet. Not really. And to me, having a bunch of superficial friendships makes me kind of sad.

Fast forward to tonight.

Here's my schedule:
• Work
• Architecture Project
• Sleep (if time allows)

I signed up yesterday for thefacebook.com. It is weird, like friendster.com after a few beers, a little uncomfortably personal. Oh well, whatever wastes time without me having to think very hard. Except, why the shit should I be wasting time? I guess even super busy stressed out people need to fritter away their lives too, that is, assuming they aren't already frittering away their lives with that which with they are busy.

I can't wait for tomorrow to be over...and then the weekend to last for ten days. Sigh.