Thanksgiving and Hawaii

My Grandma has been planning a trip to take our family to Hawaii over Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, due to my school schedule it is looking like it is going to be completely impossible for me to go. I'm upset but mainly because this is such a big deal to her. Unless I can find some flight stuck in the nether regions of some travel website, I'll have to figure out how to spend my first holiday ever not with my family. That is sure to be difficult. Family and holidays go together for me so automatically that the thought of not being with my family for a holiday actually makes me a bit physically uncomfortable. Oh well, I have plenty of time to get used to the feeling.

Second Year

OK, here we go...my second year of school is starting today. I haven't done much to prepare myself mentally for the beginning of classes. So I guess I'll just wing it and I'm sure everything will be just fine. I'm looking forward to using my brain again. In the last month and a half or so I've done a lot of drinking and very little thinking. Now I've got to reverse the trend. Thinking...wow, thinking. I'm not entirely sure that I'm up to it but I guess I have to be.

The other thing that starts today is my job at the dorms. I'm looking forward to getting some food but other than that I could leave my job without too much sadness. And finally, I'm looking forward to seeing people who I haven't seen in a long time. I hope I remember everyone's names!

Alright, so I guess that's about it. I'm antsy. I have butterflies. But I know that in a mere week this will all be routine again. I'm off!

New Mexico

Well, I'm here in Albuquerque, NM. Some thoughts about the city...it is brown and flat and warm and dry. At this point (not having seen much) it feels like the city is just one big suburb. So this isn't what I'd call a model of urban planning. What is interesting is that people seem to be really nice here, and not fake nice like people working at Starbucks, but genuinely nice like, well, like nothing I've quite experienced before. I'm from Portland and a lot of people who aren't from there often comment on how nice people are. I never really thought they were and now I'm convinced that they aren't. My cousin's husband is so nice. My sister and I were talking about it this morning. We were thinking he was like the cool, popular nice guy in high school who everyone including the asshole popular kids, the geeks, and the teachers liked.

I'm not sure what the plan is today. We talked about visiting Santa Fe but we'll see. Whatever happens it's sure to be a rip-snortin' good time!

Race for the cure!

Nothing Much

Nothing much going on at the moment. I'm watching the season finale of Veronica Mars. Such a good show. I've been working in Portland for the past month. I've only got a few days before I'm done with that. Then I'm going to New Mexico for my cousin's wedding. Directly after that school starts again. Wow, the end of my freedom is at hand. Somehow I don't mind much.

This is from my phone.

Changes

Change happens and it isn't always easy to deal with. It is especially difficult for me to understand and accept the changes that I have with my relationships. I accept that change is inevitable and often welcome but I don't always understand how to deal with it. I don't deal with the changes in my friendships well. I remember when I first started collegel. I had a really close friend in high school who completely got into the college experience and I felt left behind. I was jealous of his life and angry that I was "abandoned." I'm dealing with a situation like that now with a close friend. And it makes me sad. I'm grasping at anything that will keep things as they were. But I understand that they'll never be like they were and by pushing hard they will just get worse. I don't know what to do.

I'm someone who only has a few close friends and when one of those relationships changes I'm lost. I will be ok, I just hope that everything else will be.