Wife Swap City!

I love "Wife Swap". This week there is a family of ghost hunters the mother of whom doesn't "like" the children. And they think they are smarter than everyone else and they will tell them. In the other family the dad is a coal miner and the mom is a "free maid" (husband) who "loves to stay home and cook supper" (daughter). This should be a great damned episode.

Country Dad just forced Ghost Mom to cook him breakfast, then when she was done and served him, he threw it all away.

One of the Ghost Kids flat out told Country Mom that she is "less intelligent" than everyone in Ghost Family.

Rule Change time. Country Mom wants to teach the Ghost Family some lessons about their psychic powers and making other people feel dumb. I don't know about what the Ghost Mom is making the Country Family do because I was too busy writing this stuff about Country Mom. What it basically comes down to is that Ghost Mom is making the Country Family hunt ghosts.

One of the things I really like about this show is that pretty much everyone in each family winds up looking like a spoiled asshole. Well, the moms usually wind up looking good. The way the show is usually set up is that mom gets dumped into a shark tank where she is expected to follow the rules without getting flustered. Then she changes the rules and the family has to follow what she says. They usually complain up and down about it and wind up looking like huge douches, usually the dad leading the way. Then there is some sort of blowup and then they all wind up making some sort of peace. That is a pretty good narrative. Let's see what happens with this one...

Ghost Dad is treating Country Mom like a servant and he thinks it will break her but he doesn't seem to realize that she loves it. She can smell his weakness and she's clearly enjoying it.

Ghost Mom is making the Country Daughters do yard work and they aren't taking too kindly to it.

Country Mom makes Ghost Dad join a detective agency in order to help solve crimes with his psychic abilities. The detectives seem to think he'd make a good addition to the crazy patrol.

Country Dad can't accept that he's now supposed to do the house work. She's a "girl. boobies. girl. boobies." She has four degrees, she says, but also "boobies" says he.

Ghost Dad is twice the man now because he went to work and, surprise, CM is feeling like working outside the house may not be so bad after all.

CD has to cook dinner (one frozen pizza) and wash dishes, which he vows to break one by one.

CM hates "big words" like "inclusive" which she writes on the offender's forehead as punishment and GD says that he doesn't allow the family members to degrade themselves by "writing words on our heads." Umm, I'm not really sure exactly how he thinks that is any more degrading than anything else about this whole teevee experience. CM leaves the room crying, feeling talked down to and made a fool yet again.

Commercial. I have to say, there are usually some asses on this show but people who think they are smarter than everyone and are licensed to share how much smarter they are may (or may not) be book smart but they are not smart. They are actually dicks.

Ghost Daughter comes in to console CM who feels in crisis. She feels extremely isolated and says something about how when people don't like you it makes you want them to like you more. I feel bad for her because her husband is a complete country hick asshole stereotype. He even has a mustache.

CD and C Daughter do a little role playing when he breaks down and cries, realizing that he's been mean and ornery on purpose and has been wasting years.

Ghost Son goes on a date where he makes her feel degraded by big words. Clearly CM was right when she said he'd be alone. After CM reports to the boy about how he made the date feel he clearly didn't appreciate the news saying, with moistening eyes, that he wishes she'd softened the blow because it made him feel bad. Hope you learn something punk. He just said that when CM first came to the house he felt she was "too unintelligent to learn anything from" but now he learned "that people have feelings." Wow, you really are a family of psychic geniuses.

I don't know if it is just me or the focus of the show but the whole Country Mom-Ghost Family dynamic is much better than the Ghost Mom-Country Family dynamic. Maybe I just relate more to a bunch of self-important assholes as found in the Ghost Family. I like swords and dragons a shit-load less though.

Commercial

What have we learned? CM want respect from family. GM hope she taught the family that stereotypical roles can be broken. Judgment time! GM is a cold mom with cold kids who use big words and make people feel bad. GD says that GM needs to be warmer toward the kids. The detective agency made GD (who is now crying) feel needed and manly. CM is tired of doing everything and being run all over. CD says that's fine and sees how hard it is to do all the stuff CM has done. He's a changed man and has written her a letter (no words over two syllables) saying that he's sorry.

God, I really hate teenagers who think because they can use large words and are in advanced classes they are smarter than everyone else. This type of person is so smug and self-important. They clearly don't care about other peoples' feelings and justify their asshole-itude (yes, that is a word) by "just being honest." Man, fuck them. Maybe it is just because I've been exposed a lot to this type of person that I hate them so much. Oh well, whatever. That's enough negativity.

I hope that Country Mom grows a spine and her family stops treating her like shit. I also hope that nerd-boy gets a little bit of empathy which I guess has a lot to do with his mother. Boy, everyone is just so happy and so much better. Thanks Teevee!

Next up, an all new Super Nanny!