Monthly Posting Time

I only like to post about once a month. But sometimes I like to post even less frequently than that. At this rate, I'm going the once a month route. Who knows, maybe I'll up it soon. It isn't really like I have a whole lot going on these days. But I do have a lot on my mind.

For the past month or so, I've been going to weekly therapy sessions. They are helpful and good but I sometimes feel as if I'm holding my hand over a flame...pain for no good reason. Unlike untargeted self-inflicted pain, the pain that comes from counseling sessions has some sort of ultimate purpose. I wonder what that purpose is. There are vague promises of being a better functioning person but I have to take that on faith. Faith in myself. A difficult concept for me to grasp but I'm working on it.

Yesterday I stupidly went to a website with messageboards about my aunt. I do this every once in a while. I guess the last time I did it was a couple of years ago. It isn't something I enjoy doing but I confess that I have a sick fascination with the people who have a sick fascination with the whole thing. Until the first time I hit one of these boards, I could never have imagined the hate and vitriol that people can hold. I want to tell these people to get a life and let the dead have their peace. It has been something like 16 years and people are still writing daily on these web forums. I can't imagine what would drive someone to that. Especially since the things people write are so hateful. 16 years, you fucking losers. So many of those people are fond of saying that you reap what you sow. I have something to say to them, if it's true that you reap what you sow, you are fucked.